The past few months have been quite interesting in my personal life. There were a large number of great things happening and then everything went down a slippery slope. Everything I had worked to conquer was ripped from underneath me. I’ve had to make several changes and learn to be okay with the situation at hand.
I have had the opportunity to experience:
- Blurry Vision
- Unstable Balance
- Slowing of Processing Speed
- Spacing Out
- Moving Slowly
With all of these issues happening, I felt my life was crumbling beneath me…
Moments of being completely fine to needing to feel texture because I felt lost in my own body. Moments of being completely fine to speaking and moving slower. Moments of being completely fine to being off balance and needing to sit and/or lay for awhile. In a sense, it felt as if I were drunk. I assure you, I was NOT drunk. My brain was going crazy. I could not believe what I was experiencing. It felt as if I was going to be like this the rest of my life…
I have been reminded constantly to SLOW DOWN and BREATHE. All of the issues that I am facing today are putting me on a path to become stronger. Some may say I am already extremely strong because of what I have been through medically in my 21 years of life. Honestly, I do not believe I am that strong. I have not seen what life would look like if I did not have my challenges. Strong is a word that people use when life throws you twists and turns.
Being strong is something that needs to happen, so you can go to the next level of life. I believe when I was younger, I was just doing whatever had to be done. It was my childhood and I didn’t know what strong was. I didn’t know life was a lot different for other people. I didn’t know that bone marrow transplants weren’t an everyday thing. I do know that I always had a smile on my face. I do know that I accomplished a lot for what life had given me.
I am in a different place with being strong. At this point in my life, it is more about being mentally strong. When I say mentally strong, I mean by being able to handle whatever situation is facing me with calmness and ease. It is about taking an obstacle and conquering it in a way that you haven’t tried before.
My current season in life is teaching me how to stay calm during the storm. I believe this is one of the hardest things to do. When chaos is going on, you have to be able to acknowledge what’s going on and adapt to the current situation. I’m quickly learning that life is more about adapting to every situation we face.
At the moment, every single day is different. One day I wake up feeling slow and tired; another day I wake up feeling energized and on top of the world; the next day I wake up having a horrible headache. Every morning I have to examine and determine the steps to make sure that I do what’s best for me.
On my journey, I have found that loom knitting is an activity that I can enjoy when things are going slower in my life. I have found that there are certain songs that get me out of my funk. I have found that I love going outside for a break and just sitting still to breathe. I have found that meditating before bed helps me a ton. There are countless things that I have learned in the past few weeks that I would have never learned if I hadn’t had these specific obstacles in my life.
My words of advice would be to definitely take it one day at a time. Take a moment and examine where you are in your life. See what changes you need to make. Don’t be afraid to try things you’ve never done before. These might be the things that are needed in your life! The changes you make might seem silly at first, but trust me these might be the changes that you need to use to get to the next level. Just remember everything is happening for a reason and you can get through whatever challenge is happening in your own life. You rock!
Photograph courtesy of Sydney B Photography